Why the Thirties are a Thousand Times Better

My birthday is today (yay!), so I’ve been unnaturally nostalgic and reflective recently. One of the things that I have been thinking about is how great it feels to be in my thirties. I’m halfway through this decade and I have to say that it is SO MUCH better than my twenties. No question about it. It’s not that I didn’t completely enjoy that time of my life, but I have to say that now I feel more confident of who I am.  That’s probably one reason why I am able to write these words and stand by them.

So here is my top five list of why it’s great to be a childfree woman in her thirties, instead of a confused girl in my twenties:

1. I Know Who My Real Friends Are

I was telling my friend the other day that I do not have as much of a tolerance these days for people who I don’t like very much.  In the past year, I’ve gone through some transformations with my friendship circles and this also involved making some healthy boundaries with people who were not ideal friends in my life.  I don’t feel that same sense of neediness that I felt in my twenties and as a result I have been attracting people into my life that are honest, straightforward and (not surprisingly) also childfree like me.  I know what I appreciate in a friend and I am seeking out people who can easily fulfill that role.

2. I Don’t Care About the Question, “So What Do You Do?”

What does a Comparative Literature major do out of college?  You guessed it – not much!  When I was in school, a lot of people asked me what I wanted to do with my life and I would almost break out into a sweat.  I thought that I had to have all the answers.  I wish that I had explored more back then and taken a plunge to do more internships, but alas, I was much too intimidated back then.  When I graduated from college, I spent six weeks in England and then returned to a riveting three-week position as a cashier at Mervyn’s.  Then came the minimum wage position as a teacher’s assistant for emotionally disturbed teenage girls where I was trained in take downs and called a bitch more than once.

Since then, I worked as a “permanent” temp at a newspaper as a typist and even got my massage license.  Now that I am pursuing writing and looking for a fulfilling career path, I know that I don’t have to impress anyone else with who I am and what I did.

3. I Care Less About What Other People Think

About 10 years ago, I would be extremely sensitive about what other people thought of me. I think that over time, I’ve learned to not be so attached to other people’s opinions of me.  I’ve heard that you also have to develop a thick skin when you are a writer because you are putting yourself out there to the world and inevitably some of those trolls are going to rear their ugly heads.  But I’m learning to take things less personally.  Plus, it’s been helpful to be in a relationship with someone who also doesn’t care about what people think.  His attitude has definitely been rubbing off on me.

4. I Can Take Out the Garbage

Seriously, I have to let you guys know that I never did chores around the house when I was a kid growing up.  We had be good Asian American students first and foremost, which meant that my mom got stuck with all the housework and we dutifully studied for our exams.  All throughout my twenties, I carried this prima dona behavior and notion that someone else should do more of the chores than me.  I’m glad that I have my own chores routine now (every Saturday morning) and while taking out the compost is not my favorite thing to do, at least I can make myself do it. I think it’s also a function of being a more responsible adult in general and really dealing with the smelly stuff of life.

5. I Got My Starter Marriage Out of the Way

I have to say that if I could give any of you twenty-somethings some words of wisdom, my main one is to not get married until you are at least thirty.  What is the rush anyway?  I got married at age twenty-four and it happened because I didn’t really know what else to do. So I followed the path of the good Indian girl and got married.  I’m glad that we came to the realization that we were not meant to be together because we are now both in awesome relationships with people who we click with.  I’m glad that I managed to get five years of marriage under my belt and move on.  Now I know what I want in a relationship and I also know myself better too.

So, do you like your thirties better, too?

Photo Credit: Colin Milligan via Flickr Creative Commons

Jula Pereira

Jula Pereira

I am a freelance writer living the good life in beautiful Sonoma County with my partner and our dog Timmy. Please say hello on Twitter or connect with me on Facebook.

You may also like...

4 Responses

  1. Yulia says:

    I liked my twenties, they were great.
    Now I am 37 and I’d rather be 26, to be honest.
    The only thing I would change, 10 years before now and today, is the pressure people put on women to have children.
    I care a lot about what other people think, sadly. The difference between me now and me in my twenties is that I used to think I am strange because I didn’t want kids. Now I think the society where people think it’s acceptable to say something like, ‘It’s not normal for a woman not to want kids’, ‘Every woman should want kids’, this society is strange, not me.
    I want childfree people to be a recognized minority so that we get less discrimination from other people.
    People have been judging me for not wanting kids my entire life, and sadly, people in the UK are no better, than people in Russia.
    I am a woman, I could have kids if I wanted but I never wanted them. Yes, I am healthy enough and no, I am not a weirdo. I don’t put nappies on my cat, or call it ‘my baby’. I just don’t want to have kids.

    • Jula Jula says:

      Thanks for your comments, Yulia. The pressure part is really difficult, but I think you have a good attitude about how you view society now. Hope you find more people who understand where you are coming from.

  2. Regina says:

    I love my thirties so much! I love being an adult. When I was a child I always felt I didn´t control my life, as my parents decided almost everything for me (what school, where to go on holidays, if I can go out or not, etc) Being an adult is just GREAT and yes, turning thirty made me way more secure of myself.
    When I was about 28 I felt the time to settle down and have kids was coming, an I started felling awful about it, I didn´t want to have kids! Though I´m in a relationship for almost 10 years now, I don´t want babies.
    Of course at first I thought I was a weirdo, and all that stuff, but then, Saint Google enlighten me. there are a lot of women like me out there! When I started to feel comfortable with my ¨new¨ idea, I told my boyfriend, he said: ¨ok, I don´t want either¨. This is too easy I thought, so I kept asking every several months, just to be sure. he seems perfectly fine with this desicion, he makes jokes about it and we plan our life together.
    Over time I´m starting to be more open about telling people my choice, when people ask, I answer, if they don´t like the answer, it´s not my problem.
    I´m from Argentina, and here Childfree is not a very usual topic in social media or press, but I hope to make it visible soon by starting a blog in Spanish, just like you did!
    Thank you!